THE IMPORTANCE OF MOTHERS – INTRODUCTION
Girls whose own mothering has been inadequate may be very uncertain of themselves and of their sexual identity. They may have particular fears about the effect of contraception on their fertility, and they may need to establish their femininity by becoming pregnant. For some girls, once pregnancy is confirmed and the reality of coping with a baby is faced, abortion may be requested. For others, having a baby not only establishes their identity but increases their self-worth by providing someone of their own to love. Girls who have been in the care of the local authority are especially vulnerable in this respect.
Getting pregnant and having a baby is at some level both identifying with one’s own mother and also rivalling her. This can cause anxiety, both for having the temerity to attempt such competition, and also from fear of an envious attack from mother. There may be a wish to triumph over mother, to outdo her or the siblings. There may be the idealization of motherhood with consequent fear of not being so good at the job as mother had been.
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